I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
