I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
