Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
