Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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