eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
