they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
