is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
