she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
