Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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