I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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