HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
