love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
