I cannot find my penis.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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