I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So squirting runs in the family.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
