shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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