If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
