My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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