You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
