I bet he comes in French.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize