their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
