Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
