dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
