8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize