i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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