I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
