When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
