we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize