I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
