I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
