dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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