porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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