I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Alive.
So much puke
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
