My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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