Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
