I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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