do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
