you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
