I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
