i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
