Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
