I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
