come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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