dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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