his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
