Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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