i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Still dying that you shit outside
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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