you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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