I smell stomach acid.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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