but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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