where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We got so high we made milksteak
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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