He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
