I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
