saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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