take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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