you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
