She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
