My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
