Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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