Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
