OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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