Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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