yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
