Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
