I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
