Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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