I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
