I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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