call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
3pm strippers are depressing
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
