Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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