I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
