i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
